how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
