YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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