My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
