Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
