Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
