Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
