Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
