pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
