did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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