I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
