I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
