Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When did angry sex become our thing?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
