I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
