I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
