I need help removing her.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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