so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
