I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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