I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
