dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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