i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
