Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
