come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
