I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
