Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
