do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
