It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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