Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
