I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
