I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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