Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
