Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
