great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
