So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
