She's JV to your varsity
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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