I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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