I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
