guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
