Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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