i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
