I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
