I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
