Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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