hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
