i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
