i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My vagina is officially offended.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
