please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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