I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
