You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
