he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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