I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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